If youre like me, you love giving gifts. Its just a nice feeling ESPECIALLY when you like and respect that person. Hey, sometimes buying gifts for someone else feels 100 times better than it does buying something for yourself.
Its nice to put a smile on someone elses face, isnt it? But in all honesty, when it comes to men that you are romantically interested in; be careful. You may think buying and giving gifts nothing big, but, it does matter; especially when you are only dating andnot sure if he is committed to you. (Click here to take the quiz on Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?)
The way you go about buying and giving gifts matters, and more importantly, WHAT you give and HOW you give the gift sets up the right dynamic between you and a man, or it doesnt. (Read my article on creating an outstanding surprise)
What you give and how you give it can make you seem low value or high value in a mans mind. That doesnt make you less, though, it just makes him less attracted to you and consequently, makes you less attracted to him (which sucks for you, too).
If you are buying for a male friend, you can THEORETICALLY go all out, because youre not romantically interested in him. But personally, I dont even do that with my male friends that I consider to be like a brother.
Theres a reason: its because in my BODY it doesnt feel authentic to do this; it just doesnt feel like Im being the real ME.
I know my true gift is in being there in ANY mans presence at ALL and being happy, open and radiant.Your radiance and openness is a gift bigger than the size of the number on the price tag of your birthday or Christmas gift.
When it comes to buying men gifts, in the past Ive made so many stupid and embarrassing mistakes that are pretty much too embarrassing to talk about. And it can be difficult knowing what gift to buy a man on any occasion these days, so many of us already have everything we need, and its easy to buy something you think would be valuable, but a man doesnt find to be a good gift.
And if you read through these 6 rules and realise youve made these mistakes, its cool, woman! You, me and every other female on the planet has made, or IS making such a mistake big time.
No problem,mistakes are a gift. Without mistakes, you cant fully feel the satisfaction from getting things right.
Sowhy choose the more expensive option? Why spend a tonne on a man when youre just dating, even if you have as much money as Paris Hilton? Is there even a good reason?
See, if you subconsciously want to flaunt your ability to spend a lot, then youre not really in your feminine energy and a man cant feel you as a woman who enjoys being taken care of. Flaunting your ability to spend a lot doesnt touch a masculine man it will touch a more submissive man, or a man who is LOOKING out for a rich woman.
Hey, if you really, truly DONT want to be taken care of, and you prefer to be the one taking care of HIM, then you can go ahead and ignore this rule.
But if you want the man youre romantically interested in to be your hero, and to ADORE you, just dont spend more for the sake of looking good. In fact, where you can, spend less.
The idea is simple. Us humans generally like to acquire, to own more, to feel the satisfaction of owning material goods in our life.
So this rule is VERY counter-intuitive in practice. Butthink about it: if you have 50 items of jewelry, does it make every piecemorespecial?
Or do you still keep one or two favourite pieces that you wear over and over again? You grow attached to a few of the jewelry items; thats generally what happens.
A man (and anyone, really) will remember the gifts you give that mean something to THEM. They wont keep in their memory many years down the track oh that person used to fill up my Christmas stocking with 100 items that are useless and meaningless to me!
The more of something we get, the less valuable it becomes. And this happens subconsciously.
When giving gifts, its more important to make an emotional impact on someone than to get a reaction of woah! from them in reaction to the sheer VOLUME of gifts youve given them.
Remember that saying: less is more ?
Hard to remember this in a context where youre buying gifts for someone, but IMPORTANT.
When it comes to gift giving, if you are going for the whole feeling that yes! I am awesome and I have the money to buy a man TONNES of gifts!
Then..the message you are really sending is:I get my feeling of self worth through PROVIDING for you. Im the man.
I am of the belief that when it comes to being romantically interested in a woman, the masculine men in the world around you will find you more endearing and want to take more care of you if you either
1) Get him nothing at all, and just receive what he gives you.
Or 2) make a simple purchase that is meaningful and leave it at that. It could be a mug, or you could make a lamb roast (yum, lamb!) Dont flaunt riches. Dont flaunt provider abilities. You dont need to.
You are far more vulnerable than that (that did read vulnerable) 🙂 you rather him do THAT for you is that right? Really, are you truly attracted to a man whom you need to buy things for and take care of? Answer honestly for yourself.
If yes, then do things that encourage him doing that to you by NOT buying more, and not buying more expensive.
Your ability to react to and enjoy anything that a man gives you is far more interesting than your ability to give expensive gifts.
When it comes to gift giving.its tempting to buy a man several items of clothingor a cologne or another walletbecause these are the easiest options and its what every other girlfriend is giving her boyfriend and it saves time and thought on your part.
If you want to get him ANY of these things, make sure that it has a context and that its not just an extra on top of all the other clothes he has or wallets he has just for the sake of acquiring things.
For example, if you have been dating a while and you know hes going hiking in January and has no hiking gear, then a pair of hiking pants is nice, because they serve a particular purpose for him in January, andit shows you understand him. (Click here to complete the quiz How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?)
Most men like things with a purpose (tools, etc), or things that are sentimental. Unless a man is very feminine, he doesnt give a damn about buying more and more clothes and gathering more and more things unless those things serve a clear-cut purpose in his mind.
Most are also not interested in pointless, fluffy, jingly things.
ie: You might appreciate cupcakes. But men arent moved by that. It just doesnt touch them if you give him cupcakes as a gift. Avoid it! (yes I see women doing this often!) he might enjoy eating them, but it wont really touch him deeply.
ie: You might like cute lunch bags but buying him a plastic zip-up lunch bag with a cute little soccer ball printed on it that a 10 year old boy could also use he wont appreciate it (yes, thats actually also a real story. And the womans husband responded to the gift by saying well, thats not very manly!). Hes stating the obvious.
Now, I thought twice about putting in the word sentimental here, because a lot of women will take that and RUN with it.Yay! I can get him a nice photo with I love you so much printed on it!!Wellif you are married or have been together a long time, this gift is OK.
But not when you have NO idea where your relationship with this man is going! You have to wait to give such sentimental gifts. (read my article on How to Get Him to Propose)
If you have been together less than 6 months, stay away from sentimental gifts unless its the first time you are doing something like that and you are sure that HE has already done something like that for you at least two or three times.
Now, by sentimental, it depends on your relationship situation. If you are in a long term relationship or marriage and you really ALRE
ADY feel like the WOMAN in the relationship, and you feel adored then do what you want!
Just be mindful and conscious all the way. Be conscious of WHY youre choosing to buy a gift.
Do you really need to get something extra?
If so, why are you getting it? Are you getting it because you feel you must, otherwise he will think you dont LOVE him? If so, its the wrong reason to get the gift!
Are you getting him the gift because you think you should in order to show him that you are interested in him, although, inside, youre aching for him to be do for you, and dont actually LIKE being the one giving gifts to show your interest?
If you dont feel adored yet, and he is NOT committed yet then, whether you are dating or having something long term, your focus still needs to be on establishing the dynamic thatyouwant with a man.
ie: not being the MAN in the relationship (unless you want to be). So keep sentimental gifts to something small like a key-ring with a personal joke or personal photo attached, or a mug with a special quote or photo on it.
This is to help set up the dynamic that HE is the man in the relationship, and not YOU.
Look, you can make this mistake and maybe things will still work out if you and him are very compatible. Its just the better choice, but if youve already made the mistake, then just do things differently next time, thats all!
And just make or buy a nice card to wish him happy birthday or happy Christmas.
Theres no need to buy something just because you think you should.
But do not criticize him (thats not honest). It doesnt matter if a man gives you something and it makes you want to burst out crying (Ive done this before. And it only brought my husband and I closer, and he felt far worse about it than I ever did!)
If a man wants to make you happy, you have a good man. If instead he just calls you a bitch and never comes back because you cried over the present, well good! He wouldnt have come back in the first place anyway!
It was either going to be this Christmas or some other random reason for him to take off. Some men are just not compatible with you like that; and some of themwell, they have a weak masculine energy like that.
Unless you were intending to criticize him and be a bitch about it. Thats just not a good choice on your part. Whatever he gives you, just know that its a start that he tried to give you anything at all.
Thank him, always thank him for giving you anything, but dont pretend its orgasmic if it makes you want to cry. If it makes you over the moon, BE over the moon, if it upsets you, let it upset you! If it surprises you, LET it surprise you!
Youre a woman, its OK to be real and to feel with a man. That is what I believe, and Ive done things this way for many years, and its never backfired on me.
You dont want to do this with friends or others, but with a man, its OK. Men are funny creatures, youll be surprised how much the best men out there dont mind you making them think and work out why on earth you didnt like their gift. Theyre stronger than you think, and not as sensitive as your Mom or your girlfriends.
Click here to check our popular program Understanding Men.
Now I am handing it to you. Share your thoughts about buying men gifts. Do you have any personal rules that you follow? IE: you always spend less than a man, or you never buy a man gifts? Share your thoughts so other women can learn from you!
okay so my boyfriend and i have the same birthday. i love that we have the same birthday but im kind of worried. like what if i end up spending more than him, would he be upset? but also the reverse way what if he ends up spending more than me? i mean i know its not all about the money that you spend its more about the thought of the gift, but im not very sure where to go about this.
This article is Quite misogynistic, suggesting that men are all equal to each other and all require the same amount monetary affection as each other, and that women need to give it to them. On a second note, The whole basis of this site directly suggested in the name which is a universal statement that is ahistorical and highly problematic.
This isnt misogynistic at all. This is a female author helping women find the right gift for men. Saying men are all equal doesnt make her misogynistic. Do you know what that word means? Look it up. Your entire comment was unintelligent and simply rude. Why do you have to say something negative about someone giving advise?
okay. first of all I think I have a crush on my senior which is my colleague. He always been a very help to me at work since Im taking over his position. Every time I have problems with my work he will be there as my MAGIC solution. Now his birthday coming on 2nd February. I really want to give him a tie as a gift because I saw him wear brown color tie and I said to him that I like it on him and few days after, he came to work and tell me that he lost the tie and he was a bit sad because he like that tie also. So is it weird if I buy for him a tie? because I dont want him to ever notice I have a crush on him because he already have a fiance and getting married this July.
ahhhh thank god i came across this article before making the purchase. Late xmas present to my fiance. He is into material things and fond of money so i felt so pressured to spend on him since he spent almost $200 on a bracelet, and mpre on a purse, earrings n slippers . But ive decided im just going to buy him a cell phone case, and make him a yummy soup as well as a massage with a blowjob happy ending 🙂
My partner and I have been together for nearly 2 years, with marriage in sight. He always goes out of the way to buy me masses of presents (things I need and things I dont need). I am travelling to be with him therefore I dont have much money but with christmas coming I honestly feel bad if I dont get him something (I always buy practical/beautiful presents). He has everything expensive and everything designer. I know he needs a new wallet but the only one he would want is Louis Vuitton but I dont have that money at the moment and hes the kind of guy that wouldnt like it if I wasted money on something that isnt necessary (Like a trip away or sky diving etc). I know he probably wouldnt want me to spend money but its just nice to be able to give a gift on christmas I dont know what to do. Heeeeelp!!!
Hey, I just met this guy at my intern program we both seem to be thinking in the same direction but his birthday is coming up next week and in all honesty I feel like getting a cake delivered to him. I usually get cakes for people I care about. Should I ?
I have a fiance his female friend went abroad an left ger car in his drive. She brought back x2 bottles alcohol pack of cigs an armarni code for him. Am pissed off because my male friend thats bi-sexual bought me some cheap silver earings for my birthday an my fiance played hell with me. Am i in the wrong for thinking wild things that shes bought him all that an gone out of her way to buy him sentimental gifts?
My name is Renee, and let me quickly tell you what I believe
I believe you have the power to attract your ideal man, have him fall head over heels in love with you, wanting to commit deeply to you and have the passionate relationship youve always dreamt about.
It doesnt matter if right now, youre sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. Youre about to learn some of the most closely guarded secrets to help you succeed in dating and relationships with men. There are many articles on this website, but there are much more exclusive (not on the website) content inside my private newsletters.So join me.
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